This is a question that I have heard 100’s of times from my 7 year old daughter and it’s one that I can’t truly answer.
My eldest daughter has not seen her “dad” for nearly 2 years and this breaks my heart. The last contact I had with him was just over a year ago. We have been split up for just over 6 years and in that time he has been in and out of her life.
During the first 9 months of my daughters life he was barely around anyway, always going out with friends or spending hours on end at his parents house. It didn’t really bother me that much as I was that busy concentrating on being a new mum that I didn’t actually realise how little time he spent at home with us.
As my daughter got older after we split up she started to ask questions about why daddy wasn’t seeing her that particular week and I would say he was really sorry but he had to work etc. I used to make up excuses for the times that he just didn’t contact me because I wanted to protect my daughter, she was already asking what had she done wrong for him to not want to see her, which broke my heart. I used to send him messages, ring him and even contact his girlfriend to find out what was going on.
The final straw came when he just disappeared off the radar for 4 months and thought it was acceptable. I hadn’t hurt a single thing from him and his excuse was that he had personal problems. Now I have had some awful “personal problems” but never in a million years would I abandon my children in that time.
He did contact me about 4 times in the last year but each time it has been a poxy message and never any fight to see my daughter. If I say no he just rolls over and takes it and doesn’t have any fire in his belly to keep pushing me to let him see her. He has my address, my phone number etc but he doesn’t turn up at my door, like I would if the tables were turned and I was told I couldn’t see my children. He didn’t even send a birthday card in the post this year 😦
If you ask my daughter about her dad, she calls him a pillock! That is her own doing and not any influence from anybody else. She loves him and I always tell her that he loves her but she is 7 and believes that if he hasn’t seen her for so long then he can’t love her.