This happens to me from time to time and when it does happen it’s like an explosion.
This particular day I woke up feeling a little poorly, headache, sore throat etc the usual for this time of year. We had some bunk beds delivered the day before that we needed to get built, the girls were just full of energy and winding each other up, the flat was an absolute mess and I just couldn’t deal with it.
My emotions were high and I ended up losing it. I shouted at the girls for being naughty and not leaving us alone to get the beds made, a particular bolt wouldn’t go in, we had to take one side apart and redo it and everything was everywhere. I even ended up throwing a crate across the living room because it was in my way.
I am the sort of person who loves to have a clean and tidy home and I have always said “a tidy home equals a tidy mind” and at the minute my home isn’t tidy so I feel like my mind is full of clutter too. I will get it sorted though, even if that means having to get everything sorted tonight and be up until a stupid hour.
I struggle day to day to talk about how I am feeling, but writing helps me to get it all out. When I was younger I remember writing endlessly and it wasn’t always connected to my feelings and emotions, it would be short stories, or poems. I guess having the blog is a sort of therapy for me, my own little corner of the Internet, to express what’s happening in my head and life.
I have openly spoke about my depression in previous posts and although I wouldn’t say I am depressed right now, it’s easier for me to notice the signs that I may slip into a bout of it. I am finding it harder to be motivated to do anything, my mood swings are here, but this may be down to Mother Nature and just feel a little out of sorts.
The only good thing is that because I have dealt with this for so long now I know the sort of things that help me get through it and so it’s just about making sure that I try to pull myself through it.