The start of being the other woman

Here is my insight into what it’s like to be the “other woman”

Back in 2009 I met a man who was funny, polite, friendly and sweet. He worked in the kitchen as a chef at the pub where I was a waitress. I was with the father of my eldest daughter and the chef was married to his wife with a son and second son on the way. We became good friends over the next few months, talking about our children, interests and just general things about work. 

Fast forward to May 2009 and the chef separates from his wife and over the next month or so we become closer and we start a relationship and so I then take on the title of the other woman. At the tender age of 21 I took on a hell of a lot with Brad and his children and his then still wife. It certainly wasn’t easy and I got a barrage of abuse from certain people and it caused a massive rift in his family. 

I completely get why people thought I was the other woman and that we had been involved in some sort of an affair but I can hand on heart say that we weren’t. Yes when we got together he was still married, however he was separated from his wife and I didn’t have anything to do with the breakdown in their marriage. I had to stand my ground for months, even years and protect my innocence as such. 

It’s hard being portrayed as the other woman and also being told that I took him away from his children, my eldest daughter was even bought into the awful arguments and at the time she was only 9 months old when me and Brad met. 

Over the next few months life was pretty hard and it took its toll on our relationship, to the point that we weren’t sure if we could make it work, with all the hurdles we were coming up against. I think what made it hard for me was the fact that brads wife put in for the divorce and it was on the grounds of adultery. This is because although there was no affair between Brad and I and he was separated from her, in the eyes of the law he was committing adultery by being with me. She did say that she would name and shame me on the divorce papers too, which at first really hurt me but then I realised it was just a piece of paper and it didn’t matter what it said because me and Brad knew the truth. However when the papers came through, it said that the co respondent (that’s me) was unknown and so no where am I named. 


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