Please don’t walk away again 

After 3 years of no contact I never imagined that an innocent visit to the park would lead to this.        Ava-Leigh’s biological dad is back in her life and it’s very strange to say the least.

There I was sat watching the kids playing and all of a sudden he walks over to me and asks if he can sit down and talk to me. My stomach was in knots but I couldn’t really say no, although what I wanted to do was round the kids up and leave. However I had to think what was best for Ava-Leigh and if he had the balls to walk up to me then I had to give him a chance too.

We sat for a good 45 minutes talking, he apologised plenty and said that it was mostly his fault and that he couldn’t believe what he had missed out on. How much she had grown, turned into a beautiful little girl etc, he asked if he could seen Ava so I went over and got her and they hugged for ages. It was a bittersweet moment to watch, part of me was happy to see my daughter happy, but the other part of me was angry that after all this time, it was like everything had been forgotten about. All the heartache, the tears, the questions from Ava just disappeared. I wrote about this previously about everything that we had endured with Ava when he stopped seeing her.

His girlfriend came over and asked if Ava could meet her little sister for the first time and I of course agreed to this as I couldn’t deny Ava meeting her sibling. The beautiful nature that Ava has she instantly said hello and took her off to play in the park to play along with her other little brother. This gave me and her dad more of a chance to talk without the children hearing. Let’s face it the last thing we needed was them hearing a very adult conversation.

I didn’t hold back on telling him exactly how I felt and how he had destroyed my little girl, that it was us (meaning Brad and I) along with our families and friends who had to pick up the pieces, it’s was us who had hugged her when she cried asking why doesn’t he love me? He still kept on apologising and saying he knew he was in the wrong and that he wanted to make things right and see her again. 

Bradley came over and I asked him if he wanted to say anything and his first response was no and to walk away, but he came back over and told Ava’s dad that no matter what he is labelled as he will never be Ava’s dad because he had taken on that roll. Ava had started to call Brad dad a long time ago and it was all her choice, even down to taking brads last name unofficially. Her dad said it was harsh and but I had to agree with Brad, he took Ava on as his own when we first got together and I have to hand it to Brad he stepped up to the mark when her dad walked away and it made me even more proud of the man that Brad is. 

Her dad and I exchanged numbers and I told him that he could see Ava but it would all be on my terms until I could trust that he wouldn’t break her heart again, that myself and Brad along with our families had to sit and talk this through and figure out the best way to go forward. 

We asked Ava if she wanted to start seeing him again and, naturally she said yes. We explained to her that it would have to start off slow because it had been such a long time they had seen each other and that at first he would come to our house for an hour or so. She took all of this in and has seemed to cope with it pretty well. Brad and myself on the other hand have battled with our own emotions and what it’s going to do to his relationship with Ava. This question is understandable but unfortunately I don’t have an answer Brad and just have to reassure him that so long as we continue to love, care and support her then, hopefully their relationship won’t suffer. 

Ava has seen her dad twice over the last 2 weeks and it seems to be going well, it’s just a case of time will tell and we all have to make sure we have Ava’s best interests at heart. 

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4 thoughts on “Please don’t walk away again 

  1. very tough situation, but it sounds like you handled it with grace and class. I wish more people would put their children before their own feelings of anger and resentment. Good luck. I hope this works out and he doesn’t screw it up

    Liked by 1 person

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