A few months ago I wrote about missing out as a working parent, when Brad sent me a voice recording of Emme-Mai reading, I had a similar experience the other night and it got me thinking about the other things we miss out on as a parent. So i decided to put it to parents and see what they have missed.
Now this is in no way a post to make people feel bad, if anything its the complete opposite. I want parents to realise that they aren’t the only ones and that the majority of us are missing out on certain milestones, we all feel guilty, however we all have one thing in common and that is that we may miss out on some things but we always try to remember the reasons why we are working so much, or going to uni etc.
So to kick it off here is mine; We take the girls swimming most Tuesdays, for a couple of hours to spend as a family and to have some fun, the other reason is to teach them to swim. We cant commit to weekly lessons due to the nature of our work and shifts etc so we are doing it ourselves. However this Tuesday I wasn’t able to make it due to working the late shift, so Brad took the girls which isn’t an issue as it gives him some quality time with the girls. The only difference this week was that Ava-Leigh had an amazing moment which was swimming unaided for the very first time, near enough an entire width of the pool. When Ava rang me I was so incredibly proud of her and I gushed and told her how brilliant she was, considering she used to have a huge fear of water. Once I got off the phone from her I broke down in tears and hated the fact that I had missed such an important milestone within her life, all because I was at stupid work!! (little side note, work isn’t stupid but it felt like it was at the time)
One lady told me she has noticed her son letting go of furniture, crawling upright on his knees and has been standing unaided. She works full time at 41 hours a week and is gutted that the chances are he will take his first unsupported steps at his Nans house. It is upsetting for her, but she says she tries to remember the reasons why she works.
Another person wrote how they have missed so much and only this last week have realised how much their 18 month old daughters speech and personality are changing, due to spending the last week with her.
A mum told me she hasn’t missed any big milestones as of yet, but no doubt it will happen, but because she has only been seeing her little one for half an hour a day, she looked at her son and realised how much he has changed facially. She told me that made her sad as normally when somebody says your child has changed, you don’t notice as you tend to be seeing them all the time.
One mother told me she used to regularly pick her son up from nursery but rarely dropped him off, so she would miss seeing him write his name and stick it on the board. He would tell her about it every day and it made her feel awful for missing something that made him so proud each day.
A lady did make a very valid point as she missed her daughter crawling for the first time while she was in the bathroom at a friends house. She says she tries not to feel guilty about going to work 1 or 2 days a week, because even if you were ‘at home’ it doesn’t mean you will always see their milestones.
Something that doesn’t seem such a big thing was also mentioned by one mum, who missed her 2 year old very first dentist appointment due to being at work.
One lady hasn’t missed any huge milestone but is noticing her son eating much better, standing unaided, taking a couple of steps unsupported and being more vocal, even learning to say no as a response, she said she is really anxious as to what she will miss and keeps trying to see the benefits as to working, even though she does miss him for those 30 hours week.
I was also told how one mum isn’t allowed to book holidays ‘in season’ which means time in the summer holidays with her kids is nill and she feels so guilty that they miss out.
I was told how one mummy missed her childs first steps and the childminder was delighted to tell her 😦
Here is a quick thankyou to all the people who shared their missed moments with me 🙂